“A guide to grieving well.” Couldn’t we all have used one the first time we encountered grief? (And every time thereafter?)
In Invitation to Tears, Jonalyn Fincher and Aubrie Hills artfully weave both their stories and their studies to create a compassionate guide to the experience of grief. Focused mainly on grief associated with death (but acknowledging that similar principles are applicable in other situations that evoke grief) their aim is to help those who mourn find freedom from both personal and societal expectations of how grieving “should” go and to instead explore and experience the myriad of emotions associated with grief at their own pace. Fincher and Hills admit that much as we might like one, there is no formula for grieving – no one way, no right way, to get thru it – but they do have some guidance to offer.
In a world that is often focused on efficiency and productivity, 5-step plans and formulas can appeal to us – but the journey required by grief cannot be met with such an “easy” fix. Fincher and Hills suggest that grieving is best done:
Slowing down, taking the time to notice what we are feeling and why, and engaging with our grief in creative ways can only help us. Rushing or resisting our experience of grief will delay the healing we need – healing that only comes with time – through the long, slow, and often inconvenient process of grieving our losses.
There are several things I loved about Invitation to Tears. I really liked the questions at the end of each chapter that challenged me to think more deeply about my own experiences of grief, and the authors’ suggestions about how to engage with those questions in creative ways. I also loved the tone in which the book is written – it is compassionate, thoughtful, intelligent, informed, and kind. This book truly is an invitation – an invitation to freedom and healing, and to taking all the time you need along the way.
We should not need permission to grieve – but sometimes we do. And Fincher and Hills give us that permission, assuring us that Jesus is right there with us in the midst of it.
If you are grieving the loss of someone you’ve loved, or if you know someone who is, this book will give you the tools you need to navigate the experience well. It is not an easy thing, this journey through grief – but there is so much good waiting on the far shore.
