dream

There is a shelf in my apartment that holds a number of treasures; a collection of small things that, to me, hold great significance for one reason or another. Among these items is a birthday card from a dear friend that reads, “When dreams take flight, follow them.” Inside the card, he wrote, “God does have a plan for your life, Happy, and it is greater than your dreams.” Those words have been with me for close to two decades.

Sometimes, I chose a word for the year; at other times, it feels more like the word chooses me. My 2024 word for the year is “dream,” and it definitely chose me. (I find this to be equal parts hopeful and terrifying.) But perhaps this is the year in which I’ll not only find the courage to own what my dreams actually are, but how the universe plans to top them.

Last summer, I joined a book club centered around The Artist’s Way, by Julia Cameron. I thought I was signing up for six weeks of conversation about creativity. What I actually signed up for a twelve-week program that would begin to completely change my life – in spite of the fact that I also completely half-assed it. Cameron writes towards the beginning of the book that in all the years she has taught this course, she’s observed a great deal of stubbornness and resistance, and that was definitely the case for me. “Artist dates” (one of the main tenants of the program), I could get on board with: permission to go play once a week? Yes, please. “Morning pages” (the other core requirement – three pages of non-stop writing, every day, no censorship allowed): not so much.

I am not a morning person. I did not want to start getting up any earlier. I did not want a disruption to my routine. I did not want to add one more thing to my day. But then, in one of those lovely New York moments of synchronicity, my writing coach walked past while I was dining at a café I had not planned to be at, contemplating the possibility of ditching book club. The next morning, over coffee, he did not exactly say, “I don’t want to hear it from you anymore about feeling creatively blocked until you give morning pages a try,” but that was the gist of it. I began that day, on the train ride home. It didn’t go perfectly. There were days I missed (especially toward the beginning), days I showed up with a bad attitude, days I gave up halfway through – but here we are, three pages shy of two filled journals later, and now I would rather be late or skip breakfast than miss my morning pages.

There is more to The Artist’s Way than morning pages and artist dates – there are reflections and tasks (discard five items of worn-out clothing! but it’s not about the clothing, it’s about the things we hold on to when we shouldn’t…) – and I didn’t have time for all of it, because I hadn’t been expecting it, and I hadn’t planned for it. I don’t have time now, but if morning pages have taught me anything, it’s: “if not now, when?” So, when in another random moment of synchronicity, I ended up in a sidebar chat during an event at work about The Artist’s Way, I committed. Later this week, I am meeting up with a handful of women I’ve known for all of five minutes, and we are doing this, together.

What does this have to do with my word of the year? Well, one of the things The Artist’s Way does is give you permission to dream. As you put in the work to unblock your creativity, you become more open to possibility. Some of the exercises essentially double-dog-dare you to imagine what your life could be like, if…

So, it’s no wonder that these words from Letters to Juliet have been on repeat in my thoughts of late: “‘What’ and ‘if’ are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What… if? What, if? What *if*…?”

Merriam-Webster’s 4th definition of dream is: “a strongly desired goal or purpose; something that fully satisfies a wish.” Which reminds me a quote from The Secret: Dare to Dream: “If you don’t know what you want, how do you know what to ask for?”

This is my year to ask, “What if?” and to dream a little more bravely about the possibilities. I’ll let you know what happens!

More to come,
Happy