I’ve read a lot of books about being single over the past twenty years.
I’ve been a Lady In Waiting, and I Kissed Dating Good-bye with everyone else in the 90s (although somehow most of them managed to get married anyway). I’ve thought a lot about Passion and Purity, and wondered: If Men Are Like Buses, Then Why Can’t I Catch One?
I’ve dreamed about the potential scenarios in which Boy Meets Girl, gone In Search of The Proverbs 31 Man, and studied What To Do Until Love Finds You. I’ve wrestled through the issues surrounding Loves Me, Loves Me Not: The Ethics of Unrequited Love. I’ve even tried jumping the gun and Finding (My) Purpose As A Mom, in addition to reading/skimming books written to men (by men) about dating/marriage (just in case they happened to know something about me that I didn’t – which…well… let’s just say they didn’t).
But when Dan Brennan reviewed Kate Hurley’s book last fall, I was intrigued. I’d heard of Kate Hurley – she wrote one of my favorite Christmas songs. And I really liked what I saw on her website. So I bought the book.
And my heart sang.
Can I tell you why I love this book so much?
It’s because FINALLY, someone said it: “Being single sucks.”
That so needed to be said.
Kate tackles all of it: dating, loneliness, church, life, freedom, longing, friendships, expectations, grief, hope – everything! – with wonderful candor, wisdom, and honesty.
And the best part of it is: she wrote her book to married people, too.
I’ve read a lot of books about singleness – but I’ve yet to read one as comprehensive, compassionate, and hopeful as Cupid Is A Procrastinator: Making Sense of the Unexpected Single Life. There isn’t a single formula or platitude in it. It’s just…well, real. Kate gives us permission to own it that sometimes, being single just sucks. That it’s okay to grieve the loss of something we don’t have. But at the same time she reminds us that there’s “hope that is still hope”, even if it doesn’t end with wedding bells. That Jesus truly is enough. And that ‘family’ doesn’t need to be as narrowly defined as we think it is.
"Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." —Fred Rogers via @momentumdash
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"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." Einstein