Hello, and happy Saturday, friends! It’s been a busy few months, and while I have been writing periodically, nothing has felt quite finished enough to post for awhile – hence the dust that’s been collecting around here. But it’s a beautiful fall day today; the windows are open, the breeze is perfect, and a few (almost) quiet moments at my kitchen table with a strong cup of coffee seemed like the best way to start the day, and I do have a few things to share.
First, a must-read article for anyone, married or single. My dear friend Cathy Hutchison has written a brilliant article challenging the notion of “soulmates.” If you believe you’ve found yours, that’s fine – it’s definitely one way to think about it – but she makes a fair point about the ways in which society has shaped the way we think about this idea in some possibly damaging ways, and recommends a healthy departure from that paradigm.
“Becoming the kind of person who is open enough to deeply connect with and love another human being,” she writes, is not easy, but “the only person we can change is ourselves.” When we stop placing faerie tale expectations on others and focus in on becoming the best versions of ourselves, true growth becomes possible, and “the people we love can be the brightest lights in uncovering what holds us back and inspiring us to go beyond it.”
Read the article on Insider, and be sure to check out Cathy’s books, too! (Yeah, that was a shameless (and unsolicited) plug for my friend, but seriously, her books are awesome.)
Also, that article reminded me of this. I may just have to watch this movie for the eighteen millionth time tonight…
I did post this on Facebook last weekend, but in case you don’t follow Simple Felicity there (which you should!), a quick update to Adventures in Brooklyn, vol. 9 (in which I learned an object lesson about procrastination, and defrosted a freezer):
As it turns out, using a bowl to catch the water does work better than just towels, and defrosting a freezer goes a lot faster when you’ve only let two months of frost build up.
It’s worth noting that I didn’t *want* to defrost the freezer again so soon – this isn’t my new superpower ,or my new favorite thing to do for fun or anything. Something died in my freezer while I was traveling last month, and it left a terrible smell behind in the frost. (In my defense, that freezer froze a steak I’d stuck in there at the end of July after I defrosted it the first time, so I foolishly believed that the freezer was functional. Apparently the frozen steak was a fluke.)
New lessons learned:
I’ve been reading a fair bit this summer; here are a few of the books I’ve been into lately:
Learning to Speak God from Scratch has actually been such an influential read that I do plan to write an actual review of it at some point (hopefully soon!). I have to say, tho, that as much as I love the book, I might actually love the podcast that Jonathan’s put together even more. It’s called Seekers and Speakers, and each episode re-imagines a word that has sacred connotations. I’ve loved every single one of these conversations so far, but if I had to recommend just one, it would be his chat with Annie F. Downs on reimagining the word “courage”. (I may or may not have listened to it three times already…)
I haven’t been keeping up with some of the other podcasts I was hooked on earlier this year, but I have high hopes of catching up next month. I’ve been traveling a lot over the past few weeks, and it’s also been raining a lot, so I’ve gotten out of the habit of walking to work, but a few of my colleagues and I are joining in on the Walktober fun next month, so with any luck, I’ll have plenty of time. I’m also hoping to dive into Rob Bell’s new audio commentary: Blood, Guts, & Fire: The Gospel According to Leviticus. Because, well, with a title like that, how could you not?
Adam Grant posted this thought on work-life balance the other day:
Work-life balance sets an unrealistic expectation of keeping different roles in steady equilibrium.
Instead, strive for work-life rhythm. Each week has a repeating pattern of beats—job, family, friends, health, hobbies—that vary in accent and duration.
I really like that way of thinking about it. As much as I’d like to think of myself as a spontaneous person, I’ve always found routines and rhythms to be relatively comforting. When I find myself off-balance internally, it’s usually because I’m out of rhythm in some other way – not getting enough sleep, not having enough time to myself, being too busy, working too much. There are things I love about every season of the year, and as fall slowly rolls in to Brooklyn, I’m looking forward to building in some new routines and rhythms. My church is starting a new midweek gathering called The Table; it will definitely take some discipline and re-ordering of things on my part to carve out the time, but I’ve been feeling a pull towards re-ordering my days anyway. I’ve noticed lately that the way I spend my time doesn’t always map back to my dreams and goals, and I’m the only one who can change that. There’s nothing wrong with binge watching a season of Frasier every now and again, but if I really want to write a book – well, I need to actually make time to write it.
Grace and peace, friends.
More to come,
Happy
image credit: © Depositphotos.com / andrejad
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
The statements made and opinions expressed here are solely those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of any current or former employers.
Cathy
October 2, 2018I always enjoy your blog. It was really fun to see a shout out in it!