Seven Stories That Have Shaped My Life – #2: the one about the courage to be who you are

e.e. cummings once said, “It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”  Goodness, that’s true!  The older I get, the more astonished I am by the number of “voices” that try to influence us every day – some with good intentions, some not so much, and some not even intentionally – but nevertheless, they’re there.  Messages about who we could/should be bombard us from the moment we wake til we fall asleep again.  Radio advertisements, tv commercials, internet ads, newspaper headlines, thoughtless words from a friend, intentional words shaped into a zinger by an enemy, an offhand comment from a supervisor, a review that does/doesn’t go well, books, magazines, podcasts, blogs, our own thoughts…

Expectations come at us from every direction imaginable.

Figuring out who we are in the midst of a world that’s trying to tell us who to be can be a complicated endeavor.  Refusing to do, be, or say something because it’s expected can shake the status quo and win us an enemy; but going along with the messages that are targeted towards us can be just as harmful if we’re not discerning about what we believe.  Filtering through it all can be exhausting – but becoming more and more “ourselves” – the people we were created to be –  is worth the battle.

This week, I’m writing about some of the fictional stories that have shaped my life profoundly.  Today’s story is another of my absolute favorites; I’ve read this book so many times, I actually had to buy a 2nd copy, because the first one fell to pieces.

#2: The Hero and the Crown, by Robin McKinley

The Hero and the Crown is the story of Aerin, a princess who feels like anything but a princess.  She has been a part of her father’s court her entire life, but has never been able to find her place in it.  Shy, clumsy, and socially awkward, she keeps to herself as much as possible.  Her father, Arlbeth, and her one true friend, Tor, do what they can to help her feel valued, but war is imminent, and as tensions rise, Aerin’s heritage is questioned, and she feels less welcome in her father’s court than ever.

Aerin has discovered a formula for an ointment that makes her impervious to dragonfire, and eventually finds a position in her father’s army as a dragonslayer.  Saving several villages from the small dragons that harass them becomes her contribution to the war efforts, freeing up soldiers to go to battle while she dispenses with dragons.  But the war is not going well, and no one knows why, until Aerin discovers that one of the oldest and most evil dragons has awakened.

Aerin takes on Maur single-handedly and defeats him, but almost at the cost of her own life.  She is rescued by a mage named Luthe, who takes her in and helps her heal, and teaches her about her true heritage and destiny.  But it is Aerin who has to walk it, and it is Aerin who has to choose, for love of her people, to return to them, and become their future queen, bringing peace to the land once more.

I was still in grade school the first time I read this story, but Aerin became my heroine at once.  Her courage, her bravery, and her sheer tenacity (plus the fact that she killed a gigantic dragon and lived to tell about it) were inspiring, because at that age, I felt as out of place in my world as Aerin did.  4th-6th grade were some of the most difficult years for me in school; I had very few friends, not because I didn’t want any, but because I was so different than most of the people I knew.  I didn’t fit in their world, and I was happier sitting in a tree, reading about horses and dragons and magical epic battles, than I ever was playing kickball (I was better at reading, too).

Aerin had to battle evil dragons, climb long enchanted staircases, defeat evil mages, and fight against so many messages about who she could/should be – but in the end she overcame every obstacle and became herself, on her own terms, in her own time.

Aerin gave me hope that I could do the same someday, long before I ever understood why I loved her so much.

Also, she had the coolest horse.

We all have our battles.  Some will be easily won, while others will be like fighting an enormous dragon and our own despair in the process.  But what I’ve learned from Aerin is that all is lost only if you give up and quit fighting.

There will be days when you need an oasis. But you have a destiny. So get back out there and fight for it. Share on X
 
What do you know, deep down, you could never give up on and still be yourself?  Fight for that.

It will be worth it in the end.

This post is part of a series entitled “Seven Stories That Have Shaped My Life.” Catch the rest of the series here.

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