gossip, slander, information, and advice – part 3: why it matters

Last week, I started talking about the differences between gossip, slander, and information, particularly in regards to “famous” Christians, and how to determine which category what you’re reading about them might fall into.  Then I talked a little bit about the implications of those definitions for the way that we respond when we read something about a “scandal” involving a well-known Christian.

Today, I’d like to talk about why it matters.

As I’ve already stated, I believe that it is absolutely critical that we engage with the “news” of these scandals, and that how we do that matters.  To recap:

• we need to know our facts
• we need to have a humble attitude
• we need to remember that these are actual people we are talking about
• and we need to watch not just our tongues, but our hearts – because out of the overflow of our hearts will our mouths speak.

How we say what we say matters just as much as whether or not we are right or wrong.

And how you say what you say says a lot about who you are, whether you want it to or not.

If you don’t know your facts, but spout off about something as if you do – what you just said could indicate to others that you are harsh, judgmental, uncaring, and, um… well, dumb.  Those things might not actually be true about you in most cases – but you should maybe check your motivation (and your heart) if you find yourself quick to jump on a bandwagon that you haven’t researched well.

If you’re not humble; if you don’t have an appropriate understanding of your own fallibility – you might come off as judgmental and arrogant.  You might not think of yourself that way – but if you find yourself talking about someone with a sense of superiority (meaning that if you got right down to it in a moment of truth, you’d have to admit that really, you do think you’re better than they are), it could be a sign that you need to check your heart and find out how much of your attitude is prideful.

If you think it doesn’t matter if you have a biased and un-researched opinion about something or someone you know nothing about, and that it doesn’t matter if you spout off about it on Facebook or Twitter or your blog or whatever – um, wow.  Have you forgotten that you have friends and followers who are listening to what you say?  That you have influence,  and that you might be causing someone else to think negatively of someone (about whom you already think negatively for no real reason, since you haven’t researched it) – because your friends and followers like you and think you might be right, just because you said it?  (This does, by the way, fall into the category of what I would call slander…)  Have you forgotten that you have friends who don’t know Jesus, and that how you say what you say about Christians who may or may not have screwed up impacts their ideas about grace?

If you are spouting off about something in a public arena – please slow down and ask yourself why.  And if there is anything you need to do to correct the way in which you are doing it.

To illustrate what I mean, I will share with you a little bit about what I’ve observed about the controversy surrounding Mark Driscoll.  I’m going to use this particular scenario because it’s one I care about, and one I think matters profoundly, maybe in ways that I don’t even understand yet.

I will begin by saying that I think Mark Driscoll is a gifted teacher.  I also think that pieces of his theology are completely whacked, and that the combination of those two things is extremely dangerous, especially given the scope of the platform from which he preaches.

And I know these things because I have listened to him preach.  I have put in the time to understand the truth about all the crazy things I have heard said about him – some of which I think are valid, and some of which I think are not.

I have friends who would (maybe not literally, but figuratively) die to defend Mark Driscoll.  I have others who would happily see him disappear from the public arena and who might possibly pray daily that he will never write another book. Friends in both camps are Christians I love and respect – and I understand where their opinions come from because I know them, I know their theology, and I know how much time they’ve invested in learning as much as they can about the situation.

And most of the time, you will find me on the sidelines vocally – just watching, learning, listening.  But when it comes right down to it, my opinion about what’s going on with Mark Driscoll is actually fairly defined – and it’s defined by facts.  I do not want to identify myself in any way as being in the same camp with those who decry him with bitterness or anger, who dredge up stories from ten years ago to ‘prove’ there are patterns to his behaviour, and who have forgotten how awful it would be if someone put their laundry lists of sins, bad choices, and rotten theology on display for the world to see.

That said – I’ve read and heard his words.  And I know the scope of his platform.  And I understand that the people who follow him do not always follow with discernment.  I take it seriously when Jesus says that it would be better for you to drown than to cause someone to stumble in their faith – and I believe that some of the things that Mark Driscoll teaches could do exactly that.  I am not going to call him out on it – because I don’t know him, and because I think you should do your own research – but I will say, “Be careful; use discernment” – and I can’t not say that, because it matters.

And if my researched word of caution causes you to ask more questions, then that is all that is needed.  I don’t need to pull apart his theology in a blog post, or tell you that I think he’s evil.  Good heavens, no – I don’t think that.  I think he’s human.  We will all err, and oh, how glorious it will be when Jesus comes back and all is set right, including our theology.

But I will say that I think David Hayward’s assessment of Western Christendom’s reaction to Driscoll’s public apology last spring is one of the most spot-on things I’ve ever read.  And that it might still be spot-on to Driscoll’s most recent public statement.

And I will say that it is my opinion that Mars Hill Church’s decision to show Driscoll walking off stage with his family at the end of that public statement this fall seemed to me like a very staged moment after what could be perceived as a genuine apology.

But I can’t tell you what to think about it.  You have to decide that for yourself.

And you need to decide how you’re going to respond when you see stories about it cruising around on the internet:

• Are you going to share them?  Why?  And with what spirit?
• Are you going to comment in a thread on someone’s blog or on Twitter or Facebook?  Why?  And with what spirit?

Here is why it matters that we do respond and do it well:  People are going to talk about it anyway.

And if they know you’re a Christian, whether they are Christians or not, your friends and your followers are going to be paying attention to what you think about your “famous” brothers and sisters.  And if it’s in your heart to respond with judgment or harshness or arrogance or anything else that does not honor Jesus – it just might be in your heart to respond in the same way to someone you know.  Maybe even to them.

Is it?

And do you want to be known for that?

What would that say to your non-Christian friends?

Do your words and your attitude build trust or destroy it?

Church, please.  Call out our public people when you need to.  Point out errancy, question motives, share truth – because our public people represent all of us – and they need to remember it, own responsibility for it, and act like it.

But do it because you love your Jesus, and because you love your people, and because you love the lost and do not want them to get the wrong idea about who He is and who we are as a Church.   And do it with kindness, with humility, with honor, and with respect.

Because honestly, while my own platform is so very, very small – if you were ever to get ticked at me, this is what I would want from you.

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