Light.
It’s a five-letter word with incredible impact.
Without it, we cannot see.
With it, so much is illuminated.
Light was my #oneword365 for 2021, and it changed me. I’d challenged myself to look for light in all of its various forms, and while I didn’t actually succeed in posting a photo every day, especially toward the end (mostly because I often log in to Instagram intending to post something and then get distracted by all the other lovely posts in my feed), I did succeed in looking for (and finding) light on a daily basis. Even on the darkest days – both real and metaphorical – there was always, always light.
And I needed it.
As the pandemic stretched on and another variant swept through the city, January 2022 felt like the 25th month of 2020, and I found myself reluctant to choose a new word. Light had been such a gift through some very dark days; I didn’t want to let it go. Looking for light had become a habit, and I didn’t want to leave it behind. It was time to choose a new word, but I couldn’t land on one, and it took me awhile to figure out why.
I almost chose “opportunity.” Deep down, I had a sense that some unexpected change was coming my way (I wasn’t wrong), so “opportunity” seemed useful, as a way of navigating change with objective perspective – but it felt too close to “opportunistic,” which is so contrary to who I am. Something about it just didn’t sit right. For awhile, I tried to resign myself to it anyway, but it finally dawned on me that this isn’t how it’s supposed to work.
Choosing a word for the year is meant to be the start of an adventure, an opportunity (ha) to “go where it takes you; be who it makes you.” This word is meant to guide you, shape you, change you in positive ways. You’re not supposed to feel stuck with a word you don’t want, but I did. “Light” had been so engaging; it had filled me with so much hope, and pursuing it had put me in the habit of looking for beauty in the dingiest places. The contrast between how I felt about “light” and “opportunity” was startling.
And then it hit me. WHO SAYS you have to choose a NEW word? No one said that! I was trying to follow a self-imposed rule that was rooted in nothing, and it was driving me nuts. There was absolutely no good reason to walk away from light.
So, in the end, I didn’t.
I’m still snapping photos of lampposts and sunsets and twinkle lights and light as reflected in puddles. My spirit still lifts when the sun breaks through on a cloudy day, and the flickering flames of candles and fireplaces bring so much joy to my soul. Light isn’t done with me yet, and I’m so grateful. I want to put a slightly different spin on it this year; I want to do more than just notice. I want to find more and better ways to be light, too. I’m not sure yet how that will manifest, but I look forward to finding out.
One of my favorite songs is Chris Ayer’s The Revealing, and as I walk though another year of light, the closing stanza feels like an appropriate anthem for the journey:
I’ll be the sunlight on a walk in the rain
I’ve made it a habit to burn bright and insane
I’ll call out to the cities, and the folks in their cars
Get rid of self-pity, and live it right where you are
I’ll be the sunlight, we’ll learn to be fine
and maybe, maybe, maybe in time
all the things in life that we were born to find
were just waiting to shine
all things revealed in time
All things.
Grace and peace and light and love, friends.
More to come,
Happy
