It’s a concerning time, friends. I hesitate to use the word scary, but there are moments when it feels that way, aren’t there?
As an introvert, I am perfectly capable of spending days at a time by myself without interaction and not noticing – but there is something about having to self-isolate that somehow suddenly makes it hard. COVID-19 has caused a lot of panic – some of which is warranted, and some maybe not – but as Jon Acuff pointed out today, this is the first time a lot of us have really experienced a global pandemic. We don’t quite know what to do. Feeling fear as a product of uncertainty is normal – but letting it taking over isn’t helpful.
One of the tools I use to fight fear is to try to be present in each moment and pay attention to where I am and what’s happening around me. This morning I went for a walk (I’ve been trying to do that several times a day to combat the claustophobia of self-isolation) and didn’t put on my headphones.
I wish I could describe the delight of the birdsong in Brooklyn right now. For once, it is more ubiquitous than traffic. Also, one of my neighbors has a panther statue next to their driveway. It’s wearing a Christmas wreath. (I have walked past that house for years, and never noticed til yesterday.)
Recognizing how I feel in a particular moment (and why) – and then just letting it be what it is – has also been helpful.
There are things about living in Brooklyn that are uniquely difficult. For example, I don’t have in-unit laundry. I have to go to a laundromat – and it’s usually crowded. With increasing restrictions in NYC, I wasn’t even sure if laundry would continue to be an option. So I stopped by my local laundromat yesterday to ask if they planned to change their hours. The front desk manager assured me they did not, and would remain open as usual.
I burst into tears.
Why? Something was normal. And the amount of relief I felt was unexpected.
I find myself on the verge of tears often these days – and that’s okay. Every time I step out into the road or into someone’s yard to allow six feet of space between myself and another person, the tears well up a little. I don’t know these people – on a regular day, we would likely not even look at each other as we crossed paths. But…
In this new and uncertain normal, strangers are making eye contact, acknowledging: "I don't know you, but I love you enough to do what I can to help keep you safe." Share on XOf course that kind of compassion moves me.
On the flip side, I also sometimes notice myself experience instant anger when someone doesn’t respect those six feet of space. It’s a good opportunity to practice forgiveness – and accept that my anger is the result of feeling unsafe. It’s normal. But I also need to keep my mouth shut and do what I can to recreate a safe space for myself as quickly as possible.
Sometimes love for your neighbors means not speaking in anger. Even when they kind of deserve it.
Feeding my mind with things other than the latest news about the novel coronavirus is an incredibly helpful practice right now. (Kristen Bell quoted Elizabeth Gilbert this week in a fantastic podcast. Liz once observed that her mind is like a golden retriever; it always does better with something to chew on. SAME.)
So I rebooted a series that I hope will spark some good conversations. And I’m listening to a ton of podcasts, watching shows that feed my soul, and reading voraciously. (I’ll be sharing links to a few of my favorites in my newsletter next week, so be sure to sign up below if you haven’t yet!)
I’m 99.9% introverted. I really can go days without talking to anyone and not realize it. But while introverts of the world unite separately in our own homes and joke about how we’ve been preparing for this moment all our lives, the truth is we all need social interaction to be emotionally healthy. Social distancing can be really lonely, especially for those of us who live alone and need hugs to feel happy.
Savannah Guthrie noted this week that while we do have to practice social distance, we don’t have to be emotionally distant. Research shows that even eye contact and social networking can boost oxytocin (the “happiness” hormone), which combats cortisol (the “stress” hormone).
So I’m making a point of calling at least one person every day, and joining some of the video chats that my church has established twice daily. I’m also on social media more often than usual.
No, it’s not the same as being physically present. But social connection in the midst of social distance truly helps.
Hang in there, friends – one day, one moment at a time. Much love.
Grace and peace,
Happy
image credit: Kristina Tripkovic on Unsplash
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