I like to think that I am a planner. Tho I have friends who have contingency plans for their contingency plans – so maybe I’m really not. I’m more of a “this is what I would like to do in this block of time” sort of planner. I have long-term goals and short-term goals, and I really like to check things off my lists.
I’ve been working on setting more achievable goals this summer. “Spend one hour by the pool today.” “Get these 4 projects done for work by Friday.” “Finish Jesus Feminist by the end of the summer.” I am learning that these are generally achievable goals. At the beginning of the summer, I did not have achievable goals. They looked more like: “Write a book.” “Deep clean entire apartment in one day.” “Fix everything on this website that I want to fix without asking for help.” “Work 40 hours a week, bike 20 miles a day, get 9 hours of sleep a night, read at least one book a week, have lots of down time, and make plans with the following twelve people. Oh, and take road trips.”
Yeah – I think I needed a reality check.
Sadly, I don’t think my “deep clean entire apartment before going back to 2nd job” goal is going to get met. I am semi-spontaneously flying to Connecticut for 10 days to help my family out with some things. Last night, I was looking around thinking, “I can get my blogging done, clean my entire apartment, tie up everything I need to for work, pack, spend time by the pool, run to the store, and clean out my fridge tomorrow!” Today I think I will be lucky if I manage to get the trash and recycling out, my dishes done, and my suitcase packed before my ride to the airport arrives tomorrow. But maybe I will be pleasantly surprised by how amazingly productive I’m going to be today. (As you can see, I am still working on this whole “reality check” thing.)
Due to my unexpected trip out east, it turns out I’m not preaching next Sunday after all. I’ll be honest – while I am a little disappointed about that, deep down, I am the tiniest bit of a lot relieved. I was having a really hard time writing that message; there were a lot of things I could have talked about – but nothing felt right. I’m not overly sorry that I don’t have to wrestle through that anymore. I think the process was valuable – but it just wasn’t going to turn out a fantastic sermon on the far side.
photo courtesy of ©Depositphotos.com / PixelsAway
Part of the trouble might have been the pre-determined topic: Things I Wish I’d Known In My 20s. There are so very many. I wish I’d been better at handling my finances. I wish I’d listened to my professors and teachers when they told me I should be in an MDiv program, and not religious education – I might have been speaking and writing 15 years ago, if I’d truly understood the value of wisdom and insight, and recognized that they were actually seeing gifts in me that I didn’t know I had. But my theology was a little off in terms of how I thought God viewed women, and it was beyond my frame of reference that God could possibly be calling me to preach, or write a real book – you know, the kind that teaches people something and changes their lives. And the journey from there to here is what made me the kind of person I am now. So while in some ways I wish I’d known then what I know now – at the same time, I know my stories matter.
Speaking of stories – this post from Preston Yancey. Part 3 is my favorite. And I need to learn more about Junia…
…who is mentioned (tho not by name) in this interesting article from Noah Stepro about the binary language of gender and Scripture. Noah thinks that “gender is the linchpin issue for the Church in the 21st century.” I’m not sure I’d go that far – but I do think it’s going to become (and needs to become) a major, world-wide conversation. How we read the Bible matters, and what it teaches about gender is intricately tied to social justice; we can’t not talk about it.
Christine Caine is one of my favorite preachers, and most of the messages I’ve heard her teach are full of funny stories and a lot of compassion. I came across this clip yesterday, looking for something else, and wow. As a writer, I think this is an incredibly timely and cautionary word from the Lord.
There is a difference between telling the truth in a public forum and tearing someone’s character apart. I think we need to be careful to have a right heart when we’re writing – and I try to. There are times when we will see things going very wrong in the Church, and we will need to speak up – but we also need to remember that we are talking about people. Yes, when world-famous pastors with horrible theology are teaching straight-out lies, we need to say something out of concern for the Church; I have learned to question everything, but not everyone does that – many will listen to a popular, charismatic voice and believe blindly every word they say. We have a responsibility to say something when we see that happening. But I think there’s a way to do it that can be more about theology and less about character. Oh, Church – how I wish we would remember that more often.
And how I wish we would remember that people listen when we speak, which is why we need to think.
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